AZ bs and swifties anonymous

TACOVRD

TACOVRD

The Yak
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
884
Some leftover Total Chaos stuff from Tretiak's Group Buy if anyone is interested.

Also, the fucking BST police are out in full force......SMH

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InstantPot

InstantPot

Swiftie
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
803
Age
40
TACOVRD said:
Ah....no one needs a parasite.....

View attachment 12888

View attachment 12889
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Okay, story time:

When I was in college, I was in a fraternity. We spent a lot of time with sorority girls. Blonde, fit, tan, hot, sorority girls, most of whom were in college studying for their MRS Degrees. It was amazing and I loved it.

One night, we are having a gathering at the house. Tons of girls from tons of different sororities, even some non sorority girls. There is this one girl, let’s call her “Mary”, from one of the Sororities who is effectively no less than a 9: bleach blonde hair, super tan, super fit, well maintained, nice not-too-flat-ass (not flat was the -1), this girl smoked like a freaking chimney... I’m just walking out to the courtyard with a few beers for my friends (natty ice, because fuck you) and a couple of Zimas with jolly ranchers at the bottom for myself, because I know what I like.

Anyhow, the music is going, 112’s “Peaches and Cream”, I’m feeling buzzed, and we are enjoying some fun times. Suddenly there is just smoke wafting right in my face. I notice it coming from behind me, so without looking I say “uhhhhh, excuse me....I order a ZIMA, not EMPHA-ZIMA” of course everyone in ear shot laughs because I’m fucking hilarious, and high-5’s happen.

Now I turn around, I see “Mary”... ohshit.jpg ivefuckedup.gif. Luckily she is smiling. Hot friends around her like a squadron of blonde special hotperators waiting for the “go” signal from the babe-a-saurus leader.

Me. “Uhhhh I’m sorry I made a joke at your expense. Your cigarette smoke was going right in my face.”

Mary: “it’s okay! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. It’s just SOOOOO crowded out here.”

Me: “yes there are a lot of people here.”

*crickets*

My friend jumps in “EXCUSE ME! Hey I’m sorry, I just need to borrow you 1 second”

He pulls me away. “Do you have your car key?”

Me: it’s on the hook in my room. Why? You’re not driving it, you’re fucking hammered.

Friend: no I just need to borrow the key. Also. Go back and talk to her, but do not tell her what you drive. If the conversation comes up, and it will, you don’t have a car. Cool?

Me: sure *shrug*

*I was driving a brand new Mercedes at the time.*

Anyhow he walks away into the house to grab my key and I go back to the conversation.

Mary: That sounded important

Me: yeah super important

Mary: so I think I have seen you on campus a few times...don’t you drive a Tahoe?

Me: a Tahoe??? No. I drive a.....uhhh...bicycle. I don’t have a car.

Mary: oh okay. Hey do you know where I can get a beer?

Me: there is a keg over there.

Mary: okay thanks. Nice talking to you.

Off she goes. What the fuck a Tahoe????

A few minutes later I see her talking to the buddy who pulled me aside. They seem to be getting along. Good for him. During the conversation he pulls my key from his pocket. She is laughing. I see them exchange numbers a bit later and then he comes walking over.

Him: I need to borrow your car tomorrow night. I’m taking her out.

Me: dude what the fuck????

Him: so her thing is, she walks up to guys and says “didn’t I see you on campus driving a ______________” and then you correct her and say “no I drive a _______________”. She is trying to gauge whether or not you have money. She has done it to you, me and at least 4 other people here.

I start laughing, and I ask him...”so why are you taking her out if she is just some gold digger?”

Him: because she is fucking HOT.

Fair enough. The next night he gets dressed up, borrows my car and heads out. Around 1 am, we are sitting in the courtyard and he gets home from his date. He throws me my key.

“$140 bucks for dinner, and the worst dome I have EVER gotten. You’d think all that damn smoking would pay off, but it hasn’t done shit for her head-giving skills.”

We all just laughed and got out our paddles and had some fun.

Last I heard she was engaged to some guy whose father owned some oil additive company.
 
InstantPot

InstantPot

Swiftie
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
803
Age
40
snowtank said:
Oh really?! Sweet. Just get done rebuilding the motor?
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The motor needs to be built back up. It has been torn down and cleaned up and I have all the new guts and hardware, but I don’t have the skills to reassemble it. But the shops I have tried have all flaked
 
snowtank

snowtank

Where the fuck did my beer go!?
Joined
Oct 5, 2018
Messages
1,988
Age
40
Location
Somewhere in az I think
InstantPot said:
The motor needs to be built back up. It has been torn down and cleaned up and I have all the new guts and hardware, but I don’t have the skills to reassemble it. But the shops I have tried have all flaked
Click to expand...
Oh gotcha. Well I'm not the best but I could give it a whirl. Those motors are not crazy. All work pretty simple.
 
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